Saying “thoughts and prayers” during a crisis or tragedy has become overused, meaningless, hackneyed and banal.
Was that enough adjectives for you?
Here’s why offering “thoughts and prayers” is not a good call:
- Perceived Lack of Action: The phrase “thoughts and prayers” is perceived as a passive response to a situation requiring tangible action or even policy change. It suggests an unwillingness to address the root causes of the crisis or tragedy, particularly in the context of preventable situations like overdose deaths, gun violence and deaths due to flu, COVID-19 or other pandemic/endemic illnesses.
- Overuse and Cliché: Due to its frequent use by public figures in the aftermath of various tragedies, the phrase has become a massive cliché. This overuse can make it seem insincere or formulaic, diminishing the perceived empathy or concern of the speaker.
- Public Skepticism: In an increasingly secular or diverse religious landscape, not everyone finds comfort or meaning in religious expressions. And in places where religious expressions are appreciated, the lack of actual prayers in favor of generic “prayers” does not meet people’s immediate needs following a tragedy.
- Demand for Concrete Solutions: Especially in situations where there are known remedies or preventive measures (such as policy changes to address systemic issues), the public may expect leaders to commit to specific actions rather than offering general expressions of sympathy. “Thoughts and prayers” can thus be seen as deflecting from accountability or the responsibility to take concrete steps.
- Social Media Amplification: Social media platforms have amplified criticisms of the phrase “thoughts and prayers,” making public figures more cautious about using expressions that might trigger backlash or be interpreted as tone-deaf.
While the intention behind offering “thoughts and prayers” is often genuine, focusing on expressions of sympathy that are accompanied by actions or specific commitments can be more effective in demonstrating empathy and leadership. This approach helps address the needs and concerns of those affected by the crisis or tragedy more directly and tangibly.
In other words, offer your thoughts on the matter and/or say a prayer. Be specific. Be genuine. Think before offering your thoughts to the victims of a crisis or tragedy.